Author Guest Post: Brian Farrey

INTERIOR: MR. PEABODY’S LABORATORY.SHERMAN IS SEATED AT A DESK AS MR. PEABODY ENTERS.

MR. PEABODY: You don’t look at all happy, Sherman. What seems to be the problem?

SHERMAN:  It’s this book report, Mr. Peabody. I don’t know what to write about. I could use some help.

MR. PEABODY: Then help you shall have. Sherman, set the Wayback Machine for (mumble, mumble) years ago.    We’re going to visit that world renown book recommender, Brian Farrey.

SHERMAN:  Book recommender? Is that a real thing?

MR. PEABODY: Shut up, kid.        

WE SEE MR. PEABODY AND SHERMAN TRAVEL BACK IN TIME.

MR. PEABODY: (VOICEOVER) We set the Wayback controls for central Wisconsin in the 70s and just like that, we were outside Brian’s childhood home.

THEY SPOT A BOY SITTING ON THE GRASS, READING A BOOK.

MR. PEABODY: You must be Brian Farrey.

BRIAN (age 6): Who are you?

MR. PEABODY: I am Mr. Peabody and this is my boy, Sherman.

SHERMAN:  Hello!

BRIAN (age 6): Dogs don’t talk.

MR. PEABODY: This dog does. And we’re here to ask if you can recommend any books for Sherman here to write a report on.

SHERMAN:  It would mean a lot.

BRIAN (age 6): Well, right now I’m reading The Monster at the End of this Book. It’s pretty good.

MR. PEABODY:  But is it good enough to write a report on?

BRIAN (age 6):  I shouldn’t talk to strangers. And I probably shouldn’t talk to talking dogs.

MR. PEABODY:  You really need to get over that.

BRIAN (age 6): I’m going to take my book and go now.

HE DOES.

SHERMAN:  So should I do a report on The Monster at the End of this Book.

MR. PEABODY: Brian wasn’t very helpful, was he?  Maybe we should try him at a later age and see what he has to say.

SHERMAN:  Good idea. But he has a point. I mean, dogs don’t talk—

MR. PEABODY: Seriously, I will bite you. Shut up and let’s go.

MR. PEABODY AND SHERMAN JUMP FORWARD SIX YEARS.  THEY FIND BRIAN IN HIS BEDROOM IN HIS PARENTS’ HOUSE.

MR. PEABODY: Hello, again.

BRIAN (age 12):  I remember you guys. (TO SHERMAN) Can I talk to you? Talking to a dog freaks me out.

MR. PEABODY:  We’ll leave you alone if you can recommend a book for Sherman to report on.

BRIAN (age 12): (HE PULLS A PAPERBACK FROM HIS BOOKSHELF) This is my favorite right now. The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin.  I’ve read it six times already.  It’s got a great mystery and Turtle makes me laugh.

MR. PEABODY: (UNDER HIS BREATH) So talking turtles don’t bug you but talking dogs….

BRIAN (age 12): What was that?

MR. PEABODY: Nothing.  There you are, Sherman. There’s your book.

SHERMAN: Maybe. I don’t really like mysteries.

MR. PEABODY:  Look, you wanted a book to report on and—

BRIAN (age 12): Why don’t you check back with me in about four years? My tastes diversify then.

SHERMAN: How do you even know that?

MR. PEABODY: Who cares? Let’s go.

MR. PEABODY AND SHERMAN JUMP FORWARD IN TIME FOUR YEARS.  THEY FIND BRIAN WALKING THE HALLS OF LINCOLN HIGH SCHOOL.

BRIAN (age 16):  (HE BRANDISHES A BOOK) Check it out! I was ready for you this time.

SHERMAN: But how did you?

BRIAN (age 16): I’m a sci fi geek. You’re time travelers. Didn’t take much to figure out.

MR. PEABODY: (READING THE COVER OF THE BOOK)  The Stand  by Stephen King.  Is it good?

BRIAN (age 16): It….is….awesome!  Post-apocalyptic world, blood and guts, and…swearing.

MR. PEABODY: (HANDS BOOK BACK TO BRIAN) Sorry, Sherman, we can’t expose you to things like that.

SHERMAN:  But it sounds good—

MR. PEABODY: I mean it. I will bite you and you will cry. Is that what you want?

SHERMAN: (TO BRIAN) Thanks, anyway.

BRIAN:  This is censorship--

MR. PEABODY:  You’ve got one more chance, Farrey.  We’ll see you again in four years.  You’re a world renowned book recommender.  Do your job.

BRIAN:  Is a recommender even a real thing?

MR. PEABODY BITES BRIAN, WHO CRIES OUT.

MR. PEABODY: (TO SHERMAN) You’re next, pal.

MR. PEABODY AND SHERMAN JUMP FORWARD FOUR YEARS. BRIAN IS AT THE DOG POUND.

MR. PEABODY: You work at a dog pound?

BRIAN (age 20): Nope.

A DOG CATCHER JUMPS OUT FROM AROUND THE CORNER AND THROWS A NET OVER MR. PEABODY.

BRIAN (age 20): (TO SHERMAN)  Here, kid. Enjoy.

BRIAN HANDS SHERMAN A BOOK.

SHERMAN: (READING COVER) One Hundred Years of Solitude?

BRIAN (age 20):  It’s pretty good. You won’t forget it anytime soon.

THE DOG CATCHER DRAGS A HOWLING PEABODY FROM THE ROOM.

SHERMAN:  Is Mr. Peabody going to be okay?

BRIAN (age 20): Do you care?

SHERMAN: (THINKS ABOUT IT) Not really.

BRIAN AND SHERMAN HIGH FIVE.

Brian Farrey’s debut YA novel, WITH OR WITHOUT YOU, will be published May 24 by Simon Pulse. He tweets @BrianFarrey and he blogs at www.brianfarreybooks.com/wordpress.